BFP

October 3rd 2018

Tested positive and have been vomiting for at least 4 days. I tell myself it'll be OK but still can't help feeling miserable and sorry for myself. How do people go on and have more kids?


October 6th 2018

Pfft...and I thought the last round was bad. This first trimester proves the previous one to be child's play la. Now I eat also wanna vomit, no eat even worse. One day feels like a week.

Women especially mothers are strong, very strong. One week in and I want to wave white flag to surrender le.

TTC also difficult, got it d, miscarried, now round 2, vomiting all day long. One baby, many stories. May I survive all this and may this be my testimony of God's goodness.


October 14th 2018

I try to be happy but it's so difficult when you are vomiting all the time. Today I finally vomited the yellow bile that I read so much about. And I'm only in week 8. The light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away.

I feel bad for feeling miserable when I've been waiting for this baby for 2 yrs. Still, I feel miserable. And that nobody can help me end this suffering. How do you all pull through? I'm such a weakling.

October 16th 2018

Stayed home today. Decided to take another day off to rest at home. After today I'm gonna (wo)man up and force myself to work. No more running home half day or feeling sorry for myself. Who is gonna pay the bills if I keep running off from work?

Also yesterday I fell. Damn stupid actually.Was trying to swallow Veloxin but choked on the water so I vomited all of it out. While rushing to the toilet, I slipped on the water I vomited out. I was wearing hotel slipper. So landed on my thigh.

So clumsy. Think baby is alright. Just mummy again. Thank God my colleagues offered to cover my classes so I'm taking one day off but no more excuses the next time. I have to be strong. 3 more weeks to go!

Waiting for the day I can eat without worrying if the same food will come out where it entered.

October 17th 2018

In the midst of all these sufferings, I have a lot to thank for. Colleagues who stepped in to replace my class, sister who cooks even though I don't always eat them all, sister who would text and check if I am ok and most of all, a husband would have that look of concern on his face each time I puke.

He is the dustbin now cause I can only manage a few mouthfuls of food he buys but he will do it again the next day. He told me he is most worried when I vomit cause I throw up everything I eat so what's left. In the first pregnancy, my food aversion was bad but I managed to eat. So he kept complaining about having to eat out and he thought I was just being difficult.

This time around, seeing how bad I'm puking, he just quietly does everything. Occasionally nag me but then all out of concern. I get so upset sometimes I would tell him not to nag so much cause he is the root of my problem now. 😂 If I'm not pregnant with his child, I won't be vomiting right? So he'll be like OKOK my mistake.

3 more weeks to go. I will survive this. what I dislike about morning sickness is that it's not a choice. I don't get to choose to get sick or not. I occasionally take Veloxin when I cannot take it anymore.

October 18th 2018
Eating biscuit all day every day...

Only way to keep me filled and not make me puke. Don't wanna know how's my sugar level though. At least I drink plain water only and not sugary drinks.

OMG I am so happy cause my sister cooked fried rice and I can eat!!!


October 19th 2018

Today body boikot the rice and pork so back to biscuit and cornflakes.

October 20th 2018
Another day when I feel so unwell and I don't have appetite for anything. Still gotta eat lest I vomit bile again.

Sick for 3 weeks plus but feels like 3 months. Indeed time passes by slowly when you don't enjoy it.

October 22nd 2018
Let me drama a bit.

I very long no eat until full d cause I don't like most food and really my stomach macam bottomless pit. Eat biscuit all cannot seem to fill it. So I almost 1 month liao not one day is full eh. Every day sleep time is very sad to go to bed cause I scared will vomit bile again. Haih, macam macam ada..

Hur hur hur recalled how I wish for no ms this time around. Mana tau lagi teruk. Last round not as bad cause I think baby stopped growing at week 6. So those are just mild ms. This time around so full fledge I just hope baby is growing strong and healthy in me. My goal for the next 9 months and the rest of my life is to make sure my baby is healthy happy.

Bochup can study or not, successful or not. Just healthy and happy. This mother here not ambitious one. I no need professor or doctor.

If I try not to vomit I'll feel worse so decided to let it out before I journey home. 1 hr to home sweet home.

October 24th 2018
Had stomachache then diarrhoea and now my upper abdominal is having period like cramp. Called my gynae and she said if it's not accompanied with bleeding it should be fine. scared.

So sleepy.

Is it my body knows tomorrow I on leave so today sleepy earlier?

October 25th 2018
Can't wait for food to taste good again. Now everything cooked smells horrible to me. Can we survive on fruits, biscuits etc? I'm worried of vomiting bile again but cooked food are ergh...

October 26th 2018
Right after lunch I feel extreme exhaustion. I'm extremely sleepy right now. This is new. Just started yesterday. Is it normal?

Week 9 pattern.

October 27th 2018
Seeing the gynae next week. Worried but told myself to leave it to God la. The first time I was preg I never thought I would lose the baby cause my sister and cousin just gave birth and both of them were okay what?!

This time around I'm more worried cause I have bad morning sickness which is a good sign but I am worried it would all be in vain. But there's nothing I can do but to trust my baby and God. The last time morning sickness was mild (like nausea but no vomit).

Taking a day at a time. Today I feel generally ok so I count my blessings.

October 29th 2018
I honestly dread mealtime the most.

Why must we eat? Why can't we just survive on air?

October 31st 2018
New pattern today - leg cramp. Woke up with muscles on both leg hardened. Still able to walk around etc. Please don't gimme cramp when I'm asleep.

I twist and turn every night and last night I accidentally dropped the ruyi oil while doing my acrobatic moves. My husband jolted up and held my hand immediately. Confirm worried his wife roll herself off the bed.